Speaking of better eating, Im revisiting one of my favorites… Banana-strawberry smoothie! This is what I’ve been having for breakfast before school.. Quick, and im actually eating breakfast!

So today is day 1.. Lets see if I can make it to day 2?

Honestly I haven’t even weighed myself in months. I haven’t watched what I’ve eaten, BUT, I have become more comfortable with myself and my body. I don’t hate myself.

I’m not going to sit there and say, “im going to eat certain amount of calories everyday, and work out everyday”, because  we all know I’ve done it 100 times, and given up. I think the most I’ve lost was 10 pounds?

Nothing makes this time different as of right now.. but I want this so bad. I want to be skinny for my health, and to let myself out of the shell. I don’t really want to be the pretty girl who’s fat.. forever?

I’ve been watching a few youtube videos.. Maybe I’ll even do that.

Lets go 2011?

I had the best dinner planned out the other day. Chicken burgers topped with home-made guac. Now, let me tell you I LOVE GUACAMOLE! Chiptole being my favorite thing to eat in the states, and the guac there is so good. Why can’t I made good guac?

Anyways, I made this super good looking burger. Not ketchup, just the avo, and cheese. IT WAS TERRIBLE ! Everything was wrong. The chicken had a hard skin, the guac I couldn’t even stand, and the bread was just as bad. I thought this was going to be an amazing meal, but nope! I was wrong.

Working out update.. Blah. Have been working alot, and Haven’t made it to the gym. I know the only person I’m letting down is myself specially since I did so well last week. I will get back into it. ASAP.

I’m feeling pretty bummed. I worked out so hard last week, and total weight loss is less then a pound. Its kinda discouraging. I blame the way I ate. I didn’t try hard enough there.

I’m upping fruit intake. And smart water. And FORMULA 50. Only because I love that stuff.

NO MORE TREATS.

no more red meat.

Lets try again this week! Should be alright.. Sorry for the quick post.

I had to buy new runners because my old ones just weren’t working. Everytime I would work out my left pinkie toe would fall asleep, and it was so uncomfortable. I’m gunna give these ones a try tomorrow, I bought them today, and hopefully things work out.

Also, I’ve been really into juicing. I don’t know really what else to say about it, besides the fact that I’ve been doing it alot. and it uses up alot of my fruit.

One thing I don’t want to be a part of is a diet where I don’t eat things I like. A diet where I only eat DIET food isn’t something I want to be a part of.

Sadly though, I’m starting to think things will go by faster is I did do that! I really don’t want too, but blah.

I didn’t go to the gym yesterday, but went for a walk with my friend. She has this thing that says how far we’ve walked, and in total it was 12KM, which is about 7 miles! Damn boyyy. I can barely walk 1 mile in the gym!

I’m thinking about going for a walk in a little bit, I’ll throw on my pedometer thing, and see how far I can go.

Lets talk about my vacation! It was +30 degrees EVERYDAY in denver. I had to get over my insecurities and wear something FOR SUMMER.

SO I pulled my head out of the dirt, and wore shorts outside. I had planned this, but I didnt know if I actually had the guts to do so? I liked it.. I like shorts. I want to buy more.

Eating in Denver was monitered, but not limited. Sad to say, we ate out multiple times. Mainly chipotle burritos. I had burgers, steaks, salads, and pasta. All super good food. Also, frozen lemonade once, and a snow cone at the Rockies game!

Yep, lots of treats were had. Now its time to get back on my diet, and get back on a plan. First I want to note, no weight was gained!

I’m going to start counting calories again tomorrow, using the Lose It! App on my phone. I’m also thinking about weight watchers.. Theres one a few blocks away from where I lived. Has anyone used it? Is it worth doing?

Shorts is def something I don’t wear. I try to show the smallest amount of skin possible, if I do show skin its like cleavage, but shoulders always covered.

I honestly don’t remember the last time I wore shorts.. To my guess I was like 10..  or 11. I remember all of my highschool always covered. Hoodie EVERYDAY. No arms showing no nothing. I just started to be okay with wearing something that doesn’t close in the front recently.

After this it makes me thing, where did I get all my insecurities? No one has ever called me fat, or called me ugly. No one has ever hated on me.

One thing I’m really excited about is all the clothes I will get to wear. The dresses, the shirts, the skirts, SHORTS! The shorts in the picture are size 16, and I think I’m going to force myself to wear them out. They look good I think.. So why not?

Update on exercise.. Still haven’t made it to the gym. Been doing cardio around the house.. And the ab circle pro. Again, all the ACP is doing is hurting my back.

I have a weakness for sugary cereals. Frosted flakes & Fruitloops are the two I mainly get. I’ve tried special K with strawberries, and hated it. I really need to find a cereal that isnt 12g of sugar in basically every spoon full.

What are some cereals people love?

I didnt really work out, nor eat super heathly. BUT I didn’t over eat like usually.

I really hope I’ll make the gym before Monday (trip day..). I’ve been doing the ab circle pro, but I dont really know what else thats doing other thn hurting my back. My goal is to not eat bad in Denver, but def eat what I want at the same time.

I’m about to make myself accountable again. I think its save to say, I lost the challenge I sent myself. Its also save to say instead of weighing my 226, I’m up at 228.8.

If I were to go back up to 230, it would be failure. I know its a high possibility, seeing as I’m going on vacation next week to visit my boyfriend. And there WILL be alot of eating out. But, I must promise myself to not go crazy. This is MY LIFE. This is MY HAPPINESS. These things are important to me! They need to be!
I’m going to post everyday again, even if I have to force myself.